Too unpleasant.
Too conflict-laden.
Too unclear in the outcome.
I used to experience this myself. Talks were postponed, situations were observed, another chance was given.
The result was always the same:
It didn't get better – it got more complicated.
Today I see it differently.
These conversations are often the turning point.
Not because they are pleasant, but because they create clarity.
And clarity is the basis for everything that comes after: motivation, responsibility and movement.
Why difficult conversations are so powerful
In practice, three effects are evident again and again:
1. Clarity replaces uncertainty
Unspoken topics block teams. A clear conversation creates orientation – for both sides.
2. Responsibility becomes visible
If expectations are specifically named, it is also clear who is responsible for what.
3. Movement is created
Stagnation is often caused by ambiguity. As soon as things are spoken, momentum returns.
Or to put it another way:
Difficult conversations act like a cleansing rain. After that, the way is clear.
Why Many Leaders Fail
Not in the conversation itself – but in the preparation.
Typical errors:
- Conversations are held spontaneously
- Emotions dominate the situation
- Messages are unclear or too softly worded
- Lack of commitment
As a result, talks are held – but do not change anything.
How to conduct difficult employee appraisals correctly
From my experience, a clear, simple approach works:
1. Preparation beats spontaneity
A good conversation doesn't start in the room, but in front of it.
Clarify for you:
- What is the specific problem?
- How do I determine this (examples, not feeling)?
- What do I expect specifically for the future?
Important:
Not emotionally preparing, but objectively.
2. Clarity in communication
In the interview itself, the following applies:
- short sentences
- clear statements
- No evasion
Example:
Not:
"I feel like it's difficult sometimes..."
But:
"I noticed that the deadlines in the last three projects were not met."
That is tangible. And this is the only way to work.
3. Focus on the employee – not on your own relief
The goal is not to vent to yourself.
But:
- Making behavior visible
- Explain the impact
- Showing perspective
The conversation belongs to the employee – not to the manager.
4. Create commitment
This is the point at which many conversations fail.
In the end, it must be clear:
- What will be changed in concrete terms?
- Who takes on which responsibility?
- What happens by when?
It is helpful to:
- short written summary
- joint commitment
Without commitment, it remains a good conversation – but without effect.
5. Clear framework – also in terms of time
These conversations don't have to go on forever.
In most cases, the following are sufficient:
15 to 30 minutes
It is not the length that is important, but the clarity.
Conclusion
Difficult employee appraisals are not a disruptive factor in everyday management.
They are a central part of it.
Those who avoid them delay problems.
Those who lead it clearly create movement.
In the end, it's not about confrontation.
It's about responsibility.
And that is exactly what leadership is.
If you have read this far, then you are interested in this topic and we can continue right away: Best Practices, Coaching, Role Play, Reflection, Know-how Expansion, Consulting on Individual Cases – we will go straight into the implementation. Simply make an appointment here without obligation: https://calendly.com/markus-oldenburger-me-business-group/austausch-teams